Marriage- Eight Years. What I have learnt.

Howdy Y’all,

Happy Tuesday, today is special in chez Lifestyle because Mr L and I celebrate EIGHT years of marriage. I can not believe we are at eight years which I think is a good thing since it doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked down the aisle to become a Mrs. We have packed a lot in to our eight years, an international move, six homes, a child and a dog. So never a dull moment. It is not my intention to speak of mine and Mr L’s marriage specifically or to speak in depth about him, we like to keep some privacy. I will say this. When I walked down the aisle eight years ago I knew I was marrying a good and kind man, a man of principle (sometimes bloody mindedness with an insistent need to be right.)A man confident and self-assured enough to support those around him, a man who raises women up and sees them as more than equal. A person who loves unconditionally and understands remarkably. Mr L has not disappointed. The type of personality I am, I had to be married to a man who I respected and who could be my partner in all things. A man who can accept my feisty side and encourage and support me. I am the lucky one I have found that. I have a partner in all its entirety, it is not perfect but its ours.

Today I want to share some of the observations and lessons I have found in eight years of marriage, these do not simply relate to marriage but to all partnerships,

  1. Marriage in unpredictable. Yes like life you can have an idea of what marital bliss will be like and then you are thrown a grenade and it becomes something else. I never saw us spending our lives living on another continent to our loved ones. Raising my child away from family, but it forces you to pull together and lean on each other. It tests the foundations of marriage.
  2. Your not the same person, your life experiences prior to your relationship are different . Your childhood and traditions are unalike. Navigating and respecting each others ways is part of the journey. Examples of this are should your stocking or Santa sack be at the end of your bed or by the fireplace? Does Santa wrap your gifts or not? Is Easter a time for lamb or ham?
  3. You get the marriage you think you deserve. A wise women once made that statement to me at school, at the time I thought very little of it, but whether speaking of marriage, life or friendships there is a real pearl of truth to it. If you have self respect enough to love yourself and show love to others then you deserve the same in return. Many partners will invest and reciprocate the same levels of love you show them. It is also important to remember you are the example of a healthy loving relationship to those around you, especially children and they learn how to love and give love from your example.
  4. Pick your battles, as you bed down in marital bliss you learn that you don’t have to win every battle to win the war. Either that or I am becoming so long in the tooth I care less. Now Mr L may disagree on this but I have tried in recent years to let things slide. I have made a conscious effort not to become a nag and ride his butt about everything he doesn’t do, (because I am sure there are things I don’t do, very few things but sometimes even perfect people slip up!) I am also trying to calm myself and consider is this issue really worth a disagreement and nine times out of ten it is not unless it is PMT driven.
  5. Marriage requires work, that doesn’t mean big extravagant gifts or hearts and roses (although all great ideas so Mr L if by chance your reading this don’t be put off.) You have to be that person the other requires sometimes and find common ground. It is so easy especially when you have small children to get immersed in routine and little person needs, you forget that you have needs of each other. My grandpa used to say that children flee the nest and you are left with each other so don’t forget that.
  6. Marriage has seasons, there are times when you require more from your partner or the balance changes. Life is fast pace and we all have times where things are not quite as we would want, marriage requires you to support and love your partner unconditionally. The roles could revers one day. Seasons in life and marriage are meant and you have to learn from each one.
  7. Don’t compare you marriage to other. Firstly nobody’s marriage is perfect and they are all different because we are. In the eight years I have been married I have sadly seen lots of marriages dissolve for many reasons but often I see that people compare their marriage to unrealistic expectations or society ideals. What matters is the two of you and how happy you are with each other. What others are doing or speaking about is up to them. I maintain if you were lucky enough like Mr L and I to have grown up with strong examples of marriage, it helps because you have seen the journey of marriage and the ups and downs required for true partnership.
  8. Love Languages. Something I discovered this year and I am using. You answer a series of questions and they inform you about your preferred love language. Mr L and I completed this thinking not a lot of it, we were polar opposites (no surprise.)  My main love language is “acts of service” for Mr L it is “physical touch.” So in a nutshell I feel loved and appreciated by “acts of service”  so for example if Mr L put the trash out, or I came home and the kitchen had been cleaned (your getting the idea) I would be in heaven. For Mr L he feels most loved if I give him a hug or hold his hand on the sofa ( not natural for me.) These are such simple things and I have noticed subconsciously we have been trying to appeal to each others language and although far from perfect I am quite amazed by the result. I was a skeptic but honestly humble pie I may need to eat. Would you like a post on the love languages? I encourage everyone in a relationship to take the quiz. Not only have I been grateful by the effort Mr L has made but it gives me areas at which I need to focus. 

Do you have any pearly words of wisdom or do you prescribe to that mantra the art of a good marriage is two people who don’t want to get divorced at the same time!!!

Happy Anniversary Mr L here is to another year! Love you.

Kx

 

 

The Duchess Dress Off

Howdy Y’all,

Today I wanted to share something fun and that is meant in good taste. On Saturday in London was Trooping the Colour, this is a ceremony performed by all regiments of the British and Commonwealth armies to mark the official birthday of the sovereign HRH The Queen. It is a tradition which began in the 17th Century. It was particularly exciting because it was the first time we got to see HRH Duchess of Sussex with the rest of the Royal Family, since her wedding. I was secretly thrilled because it was one of the first times we would see both Duchess’ in their finery as members of the family. I want to preface that I am not going to make a habit of comparing Kate and Meghan, they are both incredibly beautiful (albeit in different ways) smart and stylish and to me that is where all comparisons should end. They are both Duchess’ with very different destinies and I think that will become more evident as time progresses. I did however think it would be fun today to compare their fashion choices. To summarize I think even their fashion choices on Saturday spoke to their destinies. Nobody could take from Meghan how incredibly beautiful she was as a bride, everything about her choice of dress, accessories the way she walked down the aisle spoke to the modern, confident, informed, ethical Duchess she was becoming and her fashion choice on Saturday said much the same. I also want to cut her a little slack, royal life must be so intimidating and she is handling it like a pro. Kate on the other hand is destined to be a Queen, I thought her choice of outfit for the Royal wedding spoke much to her character. Wearing something she had worn before as not to draw attention displays the thoughtful, poised, elegant, educated, and regal woman she is. I thought her outfit on Saturday shone as she stepped out onto the balcony she projected regality.

HRH Duchess of Sussex

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It is difficult to get a full length image of Meghan and this was about the best I can do but it does show us the highlights of the dress/outfit. The dress is by Carolina Herrera and it is effortlessly elegant. The pale pink/nude color compliments Meghan’s skin tone incredibly although the color is very similar to the Goat dress she wore to the Garden Party. I was a little disappointed because I would like to see her in another color. The over jacketor neckline of the dress (not quite sure of the design, )is beautiful. I feel the way her hair is styled sort of spoils the effect and silhouette of the neckline but she looks spectacular. The buttons have a very vintage/80’s vibe as to me does the length of the jacket part. Although I love the design I am not sure is suits Meghan. Like Kate this beautiful woman could make a paper bag look good so I am in no way saying she looks bad. I feel the length of the jacket does her little favors, it sort of flattens her hips and dwarfs her beautiful curves which I think is a shame. She is too petite for that length of jacket. It doesn’t enhance her waist. I also question with the length/lack of sleeve, how appropriate this choice was for the event. I echo again I love the dress but this is a royal event and I fear there might have been a little too much flesh on show so perhaps best that her hair was down. It might have been good to have had a bracelet of something on her wrist with such a short sleeve.

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In contrast to Kate I feel Meghan hits the makeup jackpot each time. I love the natural softness that allow her beauty to shine through. Her soft pink lipstick compliments her outfit color and skin tone perfectly. She has this effortlessness with her makeup and the placement of her contour is amazing. She equally kept her jewelry minimal her decision not to wear a necklace and to allow the outfits neckline to sing was perfect. A slightly bolder earring choice might have been a little more appropriate they are royal after all. I did not feel her hair was appropriate, when wearing a hat ones hair should be back and away from the face, I think Meghan may have regretted it because she was fiddling with it a lot throughout the event. Her Phillip Treacy hat complimented the look but if her hair had been similar to her wedding style, I think the hat would have looked better.

HRH Duchess of Cambridge

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It is difficult to get a full length picture of the Duchess of Cambridge so this will have to work. This is HRH at her finest. The designer for all big events or when HRH wishes to make a statement she turns to her wedding dress designer Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen and Sarah never disappoints. I adore the ice blue colour of this outfit, it compliments the summer day perfectly. It is fresh and eye catching without being loud or bright. The fit and fabric is outstanding. I love the tailored look on Kate it compliments her figure, the modern square neck is softened and made feminine by the puff sleeves and who doesn’t like a bracelet length sleeve? The waist band adds a modern touch and I love how they keep the tailoring simple by having it in the same color and fabric. How is it possible she had a baby only sixish weeks ago????? The nipped waist going into a fuller pleated skirt which adds dimension and balances out her petite shoulders.

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This close up really allows us to see the details of Kate’s hat and jewelry. Her hair is so chic and tidy and allows the beauty of her spectacular hat and the simplicity of the jewelry to shine. This statement hat was spectacular by Milner Juliette Botterill, I always think this style is the most flattering on Kate and what sets is off is the flowers, netting and bow which follow through to the front of the hat. It is millinery masterpiece. Ladies and gentleman this is how one wears their hair when wearing a hat, chic and neat allowing the hat to shine. It is also positioned correctly but still allows us to see the beautiful Duchess. With her hair so neatly off her face you can see her spectacular earrings by Kiki McDonough, they match the outfit color exquisitely and their size is a perfect balance to the hat. They also look regal and are a bolder choice than say wearing a simple stud. Her choice of necklace is also stupendous because the delicacy of it does not fight the neckline and tailoring of the dress. It is also smaller and simpler than the earrings and allows those to be the statement. I love the detail on the chain, it provides balance. This closeup also gives us a chance to look at the Duchess makeup. I will confess I am not the biggest fan on the Duchess’ makeup choices I often find there is little variety to how she does it day/night and I find her eyes a little heavy and dark (sorry Kate!)At this event I thought the makeup complimented her exquisitely, her blush and lip colour were elegant and understated and complimented the ice blue of her outfit. I think the eyemakeup worked also in providing contrast to the hat.

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I added this picture because this bunch generally scrub up very well and I just love the Queen, she certainly stands out on the balcony in her blue. So elegant and poised for a lady of 92.

Whose outfit did you prefer? What are your thoughts on Kate and Meghan? I would love to know.

Have a fab week friends.

Ta Ta for now

Kx

Welcome I’m Kate

 

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Howdy Y’all,

This is a very quick post to say hi and howdy to all the new people who are following The Lifestyle Lady. Welcome. I started this blog a few years ago my intention in this small corner of the web was to share things which motivate and inspire me. I am bowled over every time I receive a new notification to say someone else has joined the tribe. I want this space to be positive and interactive, I am genuinely delighted by comments, emails and dialogue with y’all. It has been thrilling to call people friends who I have been introduced to by their kindness and effort in following the blog and when I look at geographically where all my followers are from it is amazing.

For those who have been here a while you might find this dull but I wanted to take a small amount of time to re/introduce myself. I am Kate a mid-thirties Brit who finds herself (due to no fault of her own except honoring those little things called marriage vows) deep in the heart of Texas. Different areas of Texas have been my home for the last five years and I have lived in other States. I can honestly say that my life is not as I imagined it would be say ten years ago and I have spent much of my married life realizing that certainty and planning are great in theory but life can throw you a boomerang at the slightest turn. So Texas is my home and where my daughter Little L (Little Lifestyle) was born and is being bred. Mr L (Mr Lifestyle) is the reason why we are living in this swampy idyll a million miles from the green and pleasant land of my youth.

Mr L and I have struggled to expand our brood in the conventional sense so our second offspring comes in the form of a 44 pound Goldendoodle called Gertie, who to date is famous for not only being cute but for having a penchant for eating my underwear. (No joke.) Gertie named after my grandmother because I couldn’t do that to my daughter she would never speak to me again, appears often on the pages of this blog or on Instagram!

I don’t find it easy to write about me and for those who have followed for a while may know more about me through the way I write than what I have told you directly. I am a straight shooter, never been one to mince the words. I am a Christian please do not ask me to explain, not because I am embarrassed simply my faith is innate within me and is something I feel rather than articulate. I am a little sarcastic so I beg of you please do not be offended by what is often intended as humor, I am not the type of person to offend or shock for reaction. I try hard to be a good person and treat others as I would wish to be, I feel this ever the more acutely as a mother. I am motivated by fairness and injustice and I an advocate of standing up and being counted, as demonstrated by being elected to political office at the age of 24. I do feel if we all moaned a little less and contributed a little more, the world would be a better place. Similarly if we were a little kinder, a little fairer and a little more tolerant, we could change the world, why does human nature feel the need to attack often what they do not understand? I love to laugh and believe a good belly laugh can cure so much. I set myself way too high expectations but if I didn’t I would be bored and I am constantly criticizing myself for failing.

So welcome, I am always open to ideas and suggestions of things you would like to see here, if you are a new follower please get in touch or leave a comment I would love to know more about you. In case you are not sure the howdy y’all is a tribute to my new Texan roots and the ta ta for now a touch to Britain. Anyway friends, happy weekend, someone told me there was some small wedding happening tomorrow so I might have to give it a watch. Watch this space because I am sure there will be some commentary about the what/when/how/why or the whole shebang plus a best/worst dressed of the day.

Happy Friday Friends.

Ta ta for now

Kx