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The Lifestyle Lady
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Tag:

Love

FamilyUncategorized

Marriage- Eight Years. What I have learnt.

by thelifestylelady June 26, 2018

Howdy Y’all,

Happy Tuesday, today is special in chez Lifestyle because Mr L and I celebrate EIGHT years of marriage. I can not believe we are at eight years which I think is a good thing since it doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked down the aisle to become a Mrs. We have packed a lot in to our eight years, an international move, six homes, a child and a dog. So never a dull moment. It is not my intention to speak of mine and Mr L’s marriage specifically or to speak in depth about him, we like to keep some privacy. I will say this. When I walked down the aisle eight years ago I knew I was marrying a good and kind man, a man of principle (sometimes bloody mindedness with an insistent need to be right.)A man confident and self-assured enough to support those around him, a man who raises women up and sees them as more than equal. A person who loves unconditionally and understands remarkably. Mr L has not disappointed. The type of personality I am, I had to be married to a man who I respected and who could be my partner in all things. A man who can accept my feisty side and encourage and support me. I am the lucky one I have found that. I have a partner in all its entirety, it is not perfect but its ours.

Today I want to share some of the observations and lessons I have found in eight years of marriage, these do not simply relate to marriage but to all partnerships,

  1. Marriage in unpredictable. Yes like life you can have an idea of what marital bliss will be like and then you are thrown a grenade and it becomes something else. I never saw us spending our lives living on another continent to our loved ones. Raising my child away from family, but it forces you to pull together and lean on each other. It tests the foundations of marriage.
  2. Your not the same person, your life experiences prior to your relationship are different . Your childhood and traditions are unalike. Navigating and respecting each others ways is part of the journey. Examples of this are should your stocking or Santa sack be at the end of your bed or by the fireplace? Does Santa wrap your gifts or not? Is Easter a time for lamb or ham?
  3. You get the marriage you think you deserve. A wise women once made that statement to me at school, at the time I thought very little of it, but whether speaking of marriage, life or friendships there is a real pearl of truth to it. If you have self respect enough to love yourself and show love to others then you deserve the same in return. Many partners will invest and reciprocate the same levels of love you show them. It is also important to remember you are the example of a healthy loving relationship to those around you, especially children and they learn how to love and give love from your example.
  4. Pick your battles, as you bed down in marital bliss you learn that you don’t have to win every battle to win the war. Either that or I am becoming so long in the tooth I care less. Now Mr L may disagree on this but I have tried in recent years to let things slide. I have made a conscious effort not to become a nag and ride his butt about everything he doesn’t do, (because I am sure there are things I don’t do, very few things but sometimes even perfect people slip up!) I am also trying to calm myself and consider is this issue really worth a disagreement and nine times out of ten it is not unless it is PMT driven.
  5. Marriage requires work, that doesn’t mean big extravagant gifts or hearts and roses (although all great ideas so Mr L if by chance your reading this don’t be put off.) You have to be that person the other requires sometimes and find common ground. It is so easy especially when you have small children to get immersed in routine and little person needs, you forget that you have needs of each other. My grandpa used to say that children flee the nest and you are left with each other so don’t forget that.
  6. Marriage has seasons, there are times when you require more from your partner or the balance changes. Life is fast pace and we all have times where things are not quite as we would want, marriage requires you to support and love your partner unconditionally. The roles could revers one day. Seasons in life and marriage are meant and you have to learn from each one.
  7. Don’t compare you marriage to other. Firstly nobody’s marriage is perfect and they are all different because we are. In the eight years I have been married I have sadly seen lots of marriages dissolve for many reasons but often I see that people compare their marriage to unrealistic expectations or society ideals. What matters is the two of you and how happy you are with each other. What others are doing or speaking about is up to them. I maintain if you were lucky enough like Mr L and I to have grown up with strong examples of marriage, it helps because you have seen the journey of marriage and the ups and downs required for true partnership.
  8. Love Languages. Something I discovered this year and I am using. You answer a series of questions and they inform you about your preferred love language. Mr L and I completed this thinking not a lot of it, we were polar opposites (no surprise.)  My main love language is “acts of service” for Mr L it is “physical touch.” So in a nutshell I feel loved and appreciated by “acts of service”  so for example if Mr L put the trash out, or I came home and the kitchen had been cleaned (your getting the idea) I would be in heaven. For Mr L he feels most loved if I give him a hug or hold his hand on the sofa ( not natural for me.) These are such simple things and I have noticed subconsciously we have been trying to appeal to each others language and although far from perfect I am quite amazed by the result. I was a skeptic but honestly humble pie I may need to eat. Would you like a post on the love languages? I encourage everyone in a relationship to take the quiz. Not only have I been grateful by the effort Mr L has made but it gives me areas at which I need to focus. 

Do you have any pearly words of wisdom or do you prescribe to that mantra the art of a good marriage is two people who don’t want to get divorced at the same time!!!

Happy Anniversary Mr L here is to another year! Love you.

Kx

 

 

June 26, 2018 6 comments
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Family

Happy Mother’s Day

by thelifestylelady May 13, 2018

Howdy Y’all,

Happy Mother’s Day. I know that this date varies dependent on country because hell knows it would be too sensible to make it all on the same day. Before I get comments reminding me of my British roots and it would be treason to abandon them, I beg upon your mercy to remember that my daughter is American born and to date raised, so to  ensure she feels well adjusted we celebrate the US date of mother’s day, although  I am always happy to celebrate more than one.

Today is my fifth mother’s day and as I reflect on that fact I thought I would share some of my thoughts and feelings on motherhood. These are purely off the cuff and a stream of consciousness.

  1. The days are long but the years are short, never a truer statement said. Some days I feel like I am pulling a jumbo jet up K2 in a pair of high heels, but then I sit down and think how is this my fifth mothers day!
  2. You will develop an addictive personality usually to coffee or wine and if you are truly successful both.
  3. If you have a plan, trash it. You can be the most organized person on the planet but children are unpredictable beasts, they have a mind and feelings of their own. There are times and days where all the planning on the planet will not stop a melt down. Trust me I have been their. I still think about those poor peoples ear drums on that flight ….
  4. Love, unconditional love it is mesmerizing, life altering and breathtaking all at once and it grows deeper and stronger as time progresses.
  5. You learn more about yourself, I lie not when I say mothering is a challenge it will take you to the brink and beyond, whether it is sleep deprivation, growing pains or they are being a stinker with prerogative, you will learn more about your patience level, selfishness and  tolerance than any school room will teach you.
  6. You will see yourself. There is nothing more frightening than when you see yourself staring back at you. The wonder of genetics.
  7. They are always watching, children are like a shadows, whatever you say, do, they are ready to recreate at the most inappropriate moments.
  8. Judgement, I was one of those stuck-up young women who actually thought things like “when I am a mother, I won’t.” I mean what a stupid person I was. Any mother knows that this mantra never applies because being a mum is beyond challenging and the last thing anyone needs is judgement.
  9. Consistency, I remember my mum telling me this one and she was right. Consistency is the biggest challenge as a mama, there are days when you are on your A game and having a consistent approach and parenting is easy and then their are the days when that fourth espresso is not hitting the mark and the appeal of letting your child have candy for breakfast or an extra hour of TV is what you need.
  10. Parental club, this club is non discriminatory it is that solidarity we all feel. It is the unspoken nod of the head or sympathetic head turn which says. WE KNOW, WE HAVE BEEN YOU AND THANK GOD IT IS NOT ME TODAY.

I am beyond lucky to be a mother and I thank God for giving me the blessing of my happy daughter. She is my greatest legacy and I appreciate every moment we get to experience and learn life together. To all mother’s in whatever form that is, wherever in the world you are. Happy Mother’s Day. To those of you who may find this day difficult you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Have a wonderful week friends.

Ta ta for now,

Kx

May 13, 2018 0 comment
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FamilyUncategorized

Gertie The Goldendoodle

by thelifestylelady April 30, 2018

Howdy Y’all,

I am sitting in the peace and quiet of the French countryside and all I can hear are the birds.  This morning due to the kindness of family entertaining Little L, I actually got time to look at my phone with no disruptions. On my timeline (Facebook) I noticed it is a year today that our beloved Gertie arrived and joined the Lifestyle family. My first reaction was guilt she is enjoying a break at her holiday camp while we are in Europe. Fear not we will celebrate on our return.

I have been lucky enough to grow up with dogs in my life but had not owned one. Mr L and my transient lifestyle had made the commitment of a dog more difficult although it was always in the plan to get one. If you have been following for a while you will know that the arrival of a second child has been a challenge for Mr L and I, our infertility journey is too difficult to talk about and I even hate typing the words. As the reality of another child seemed to become less and less likely and we have made Texas our home we realized now was the time to bite the bullet, our second baby would come in the form of an apricot six pound bundle of fur. I must confess I was not expecting to get a puppy quite so quickly but much like our life we were not ones to be sedate and within weeks we had our beloved Gertie.

Why a Goldendoodle?

Gertie is a F1B mini/moyen Goldendoodle. Now let me speak English. This means to the best of my knowledge she is as close to an hypoallergenic dog you can get. Her mother is a goldendoodle and her father is a poodle. They are bred  not to shed, excuse the rhyme. I must confess that this enticed me, as someone who verges on the house proud side and with close friends with allergies this breed appealed. I can honestly say she never sheds. I do not see dog hair anywhere, I promise. I also grew up with Labradors and Golden Retrievers and loved their temperament with children. I didn’t really want a dog as big as a retriever or Labrador and so the mini/moyen size seemed ideal. Gertie is closer to the moyen side as she is 45lbs but much slighter and lighter than a full grown lab or retriever.

Where did we buy from?

Goldendoodle’s like many doodles seem to be very “in vogue”.  They are a relatively new breed only started in the nineties so I wanted to find an established breeder with an excellent track record. I did lots and I mean lots of research into the breed and breeders. This is an emotional and expensive investment that I needed to get right. I also asked people where they got their dogs from and would contact people on social media to ask where they bought their dog from. I came up with a list of three or four established breeders and then contacted to see how long the wait would be.  Some of the friendliest and child friendly GD came from The Four Paw Dood ranch in Kansas, now expanded to Dallas. I contacted them and the wait was not too long, they sent me a few options and let me tell you choosing out of a selection of pups is beyond hard, they are all unbelievably cute and you want to take them all! We decided on this cutie simply because she has the most retriever style head and this became Gertie!!! So I flew up to Kansas collected her and flew her back down in the cabin. Trust me a puppy on a flight is a total hit.

img_6045-1

 

 

 

 

Why Gertie?

 

Gertrude was my granny’s name, she hated it, so went by Mary, a name which we gave my daughter.  My family used to tease me that my daughter should be called Gertrude. I couldn’t do it to her but I did think it would make a super sweet name for a dog and so Gertie the Goldendoodle was born. I have not regretted it yet, actually I think it would be a cute girls name now. Sarah is her middle name, which Little L gave her.

 

Who is Gertie?

When I collected Gertie from the airport in Kansas the breeder explained to me if you have children let them feed, care, and gently manhandle the dog (tongue in cheek.) The most important thing was that Little L and Gertie became firm friends and they have become just that. The love between them is wonderful. Gertie is the sweetest and sassiest dog I know. She is stubborn and anxious, kind and loving. She is overly friendly and fun. She has a passion for eating and throwing up my underwear, I have no idea where she finds them but I have had to purchase many new undies this year. She loves soft toys, Cinderella, Anna, Elsa and Princess Celestia are her favs. She adores barking at our pool floaties and sleeping on my cream sofa. Playing with Little L is her fav activity.

 

The airport surprise
This is how we carpool
A sneeky side punch
Cartoon time!
TV time started young
I am coming to school to
Daily walk with a princess and a pram
Learning about Disney
Head Lock Revenge
Park Time Snackies
Ipad sharing
Sister Love

 

Gertie and Me

Having Gertie has been a little like having a newborn although I am not as sleep deprived.  She loves attention and loves love. I have to say that the bond we have has surprised me. I love her and she loves me, so much so it is only my underpants and shoes she likes to eat and I think that is because of my smell. She sleeps every night under my side of the bed and always wants to join me in the car or shower!  Gertie has saved me, she has filled my heart and I dote on her. She has helped mend me in ways I am not ready to share on here. She is always happy to see us and has genuinely enhanced our family and is beyond a welcomed addition.

Family Hugs
Was Not Me Mama
I ate your pants
Sorry Mama
Love
Gingham Bandana Look
Just Chilling
My Fav Place Under The Bed
Mum This Raincoat
Family Selfiw
Style
Helping Mama Blog
Vet Visit
Walkies Please
Halloween Pumpkin
Our Family

If you have any questions about getting a goldendoodle please don’t hesitate to contact me!

Have a great week.

Ta Ta for now,

Kx

 

April 30, 2018 1 comment
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BeautyYou tube

Product Empties Winter 2016

by thelifestylelady January 4, 2017

 

Howdy Y’all!

Happy New Year! I am still away and enjoying the peace and quiet of home, spending quality time with friends and family, enjoying our last week before our January officially starts. Todays video is all about product empties, things I have used to the last drop, with lots of great sales going on I thought it might give you some inspiration to give something new a try. Any of the products mentioned you love? Anything I should try?

How was your NY? Any resolutions your planning? I am thinking about goals for this my blog at the moment that I hope to share with y’all very soon!

Ta Ta for now.

TLLx

 

January 4, 2017 0 comment
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ABOUT ME

ABOUT ME

Welcome

Hi I'm Kate, Thanks for stopping by my small corner of the web, here at TLL I indulge my love of all things lifestyle, from cooking to travel and fashion to interiors, all served with a healthy dose of British sarcasm. So pour yourself a glass of something delicious, put your feet up and take a nose about. Enjoy Kx

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