Marriage- Eight Years. What I have learnt.

Howdy Y’all,

Happy Tuesday, today is special in chez Lifestyle because Mr L and I celebrate EIGHT years of marriage. I can not believe we are at eight years which I think is a good thing since it doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked down the aisle to become a Mrs. We have packed a lot in to our eight years, an international move, six homes, a child and a dog. So never a dull moment. It is not my intention to speak of mine and Mr L’s marriage specifically or to speak in depth about him, we like to keep some privacy. I will say this. When I walked down the aisle eight years ago I knew I was marrying a good and kind man, a man of principle (sometimes bloody mindedness with an insistent need to be right.)A man confident and self-assured enough to support those around him, a man who raises women up and sees them as more than equal. A person who loves unconditionally and understands remarkably. Mr L has not disappointed. The type of personality I am, I had to be married to a man who I respected and who could be my partner in all things. A man who can accept my feisty side and encourage and support me. I am the lucky one I have found that. I have a partner in all its entirety, it is not perfect but its ours.

Today I want to share some of the observations and lessons I have found in eight years of marriage, these do not simply relate to marriage but to all partnerships,

  1. Marriage in unpredictable. Yes like life you can have an idea of what marital bliss will be like and then you are thrown a grenade and it becomes something else. I never saw us spending our lives living on another continent to our loved ones. Raising my child away from family, but it forces you to pull together and lean on each other. It tests the foundations of marriage.
  2. Your not the same person, your life experiences prior to your relationship are different . Your childhood and traditions are unalike. Navigating and respecting each others ways is part of the journey. Examples of this are should your stocking or Santa sack be at the end of your bed or by the fireplace? Does Santa wrap your gifts or not? Is Easter a time for lamb or ham?
  3. You get the marriage you think you deserve. A wise women once made that statement to me at school, at the time I thought very little of it, but whether speaking of marriage, life or friendships there is a real pearl of truth to it. If you have self respect enough to love yourself and show love to others then you deserve the same in return. Many partners will invest and reciprocate the same levels of love you show them. It is also important to remember you are the example of a healthy loving relationship to those around you, especially children and they learn how to love and give love from your example.
  4. Pick your battles, as you bed down in marital bliss you learn that you don’t have to win every battle to win the war. Either that or I am becoming so long in the tooth I care less. Now Mr L may disagree on this but I have tried in recent years to let things slide. I have made a conscious effort not to become a nag and ride his butt about everything he doesn’t do, (because I am sure there are things I don’t do, very few things but sometimes even perfect people slip up!) I am also trying to calm myself and consider is this issue really worth a disagreement and nine times out of ten it is not unless it is PMT driven.
  5. Marriage requires work, that doesn’t mean big extravagant gifts or hearts and roses (although all great ideas so Mr L if by chance your reading this don’t be put off.) You have to be that person the other requires sometimes and find common ground. It is so easy especially when you have small children to get immersed in routine and little person needs, you forget that you have needs of each other. My grandpa used to say that children flee the nest and you are left with each other so don’t forget that.
  6. Marriage has seasons, there are times when you require more from your partner or the balance changes. Life is fast pace and we all have times where things are not quite as we would want, marriage requires you to support and love your partner unconditionally. The roles could revers one day. Seasons in life and marriage are meant and you have to learn from each one.
  7. Don’t compare you marriage to other. Firstly nobody’s marriage is perfect and they are all different because we are. In the eight years I have been married I have sadly seen lots of marriages dissolve for many reasons but often I see that people compare their marriage to unrealistic expectations or society ideals. What matters is the two of you and how happy you are with each other. What others are doing or speaking about is up to them. I maintain if you were lucky enough like Mr L and I to have grown up with strong examples of marriage, it helps because you have seen the journey of marriage and the ups and downs required for true partnership.
  8. Love Languages. Something I discovered this year and I am using. You answer a series of questions and they inform you about your preferred love language. Mr L and I completed this thinking not a lot of it, we were polar opposites (no surprise.)  My main love language is “acts of service” for Mr L it is “physical touch.” So in a nutshell I feel loved and appreciated by “acts of service”  so for example if Mr L put the trash out, or I came home and the kitchen had been cleaned (your getting the idea) I would be in heaven. For Mr L he feels most loved if I give him a hug or hold his hand on the sofa ( not natural for me.) These are such simple things and I have noticed subconsciously we have been trying to appeal to each others language and although far from perfect I am quite amazed by the result. I was a skeptic but honestly humble pie I may need to eat. Would you like a post on the love languages? I encourage everyone in a relationship to take the quiz. Not only have I been grateful by the effort Mr L has made but it gives me areas at which I need to focus. 

Do you have any pearly words of wisdom or do you prescribe to that mantra the art of a good marriage is two people who don’t want to get divorced at the same time!!!

Happy Anniversary Mr L here is to another year! Love you.

Kx

 

 

Life Update & Meet Our New Family Member

Howdy Y’all,

Goodness gracious me it feels like forever since I sat down to write, it has been a while, so sorry. Today’s video gives you a very brief explanation into what is going on at the moment and why I have been a little radio silent. How are y’all? What is going on in your world?

Enjoy

Tata for now,

Kate x

Blue Apron Review

Howdy Y’all,

Happy hump day! So todays post is a review of a new service I have tried last week called Blue Apron. I love to cook, I like trying new recipes and producing home cooked meals, I don’t always enjoy meal planning, list making, shopping etc. I often thought how nice would it be to have a service who took some of the hardwork out of it and voila we have Blue Apron. I had been meaning to try this for a while but with moving etc the time had never been right. When I got my hands on a coupon I thought lets give this a try. Now I am aware that Blue Apron is not the only place that provides this service but from what I have read to date Blue Apron has good feedback. It is a service which sends you in refrigerated boxes with fresh produce to provide meals for your family. You have two basic options 2 meals for 2 covers (2 person plan) or 4 meals for 4 covers (family plan.) I went with the latter because I need leftovers to send with Mr L for his lunch. Blue Apron explain that the meals are farm-fresh, seasonal produce, meat and poultry with no added hormones and sustainably-sourced seafood. So if like my family you are conscious about where your food comes from this is for you. As well as the fresh produce you are provided with extensive recipe cards which guide you in producing each meal.

A Photo Diary Of My Blue Apron Experience

Blue Apron Delivery
Here waiting on my doorstep as described was my first delivery
Blue Apron Box Open
When I opened the box, everything was well packed and very cold from the efficient ice packs provided, these can be reused by you if you want to. I was also impressed with the small brochure with seasonal ideas and the menu cards provided.
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Inside the boxes, you can see how cold the products are kept, which is a deep concern for people like me who live in a warm climate.
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The first meal I prepared was Lemongrass Roasted Pork . This had the thumbs up. Mr L loves pork so I knew it would be a hit.
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Please don’t judge my messy plate, I should have wiped it. But this is a view from above.
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This is Pan-Seared Barramundi with Prince of Orange Potatoes & Spinach. This was also delicious, I perhaps chopped the potatoes a little small, I enjoyed cooking with Barramundi, I love to cook fish but had never cooked this. I love extending my repertoire.
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An overview and the plate is a little cleaner.
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This was the vegetarian option Broccoli & Cheese Enchiladas with Tomatillos & Sour Cream, now a veg dish has to be good to get Mr L’s approval and this did. It was delicious. Plus it got Little L eating lots of veggies.
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These were yummy.
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Seared chicken with brown rice and glazed carrots. This was yummy and the purple carrots were different.

I have Blue Apron delivering this week, mainly because I have been so impressed. The app and website have a great interface, clear and easy to use. The service is first class, every time I have emailed the response has been prompt and effective. I will add, this service is not for someone who has little or no interest in cooking, it does require prep. If you are looking for a prepared meal service this is not for you. If you are a family or couple pushed for time who like wholesome good food and enjoy eating around the table this is for you. If you are in a meal rut and like some insipiration this also may help. The meal cards, provide extensive photographic and written method so if your wanting to improve your cooking this would also help. I really wish they had this service when my husband and I were both working. This would be a great gift idea for new parents or a family or couple on the go. I have been so impressed I intend to keep the service up, I will use in weeks where we have lots going on. If you wish to cancel or miss a week to do so is very easy and straightforward.

If you were thinking of giving this service a try I urge you to do so.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Ta ta for now
TLLx