Marriage- Eight Years. What I have learnt.

Howdy Y’all,

Happy Tuesday, today is special in chez Lifestyle because Mr L and I celebrate EIGHT years of marriage. I can not believe we are at eight years which I think is a good thing since it doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked down the aisle to become a Mrs. We have packed a lot in to our eight years, an international move, six homes, a child and a dog. So never a dull moment. It is not my intention to speak of mine and Mr L’s marriage specifically or to speak in depth about him, we like to keep some privacy. I will say this. When I walked down the aisle eight years ago I knew I was marrying a good and kind man, a man of principle (sometimes bloody mindedness with an insistent need to be right.)A man confident and self-assured enough to support those around him, a man who raises women up and sees them as more than equal. A person who loves unconditionally and understands remarkably. Mr L has not disappointed. The type of personality I am, I had to be married to a man who I respected and who could be my partner in all things. A man who can accept my feisty side and encourage and support me. I am the lucky one I have found that. I have a partner in all its entirety, it is not perfect but its ours.

Today I want to share some of the observations and lessons I have found in eight years of marriage, these do not simply relate to marriage but to all partnerships,

  1. Marriage in unpredictable. Yes like life you can have an idea of what marital bliss will be like and then you are thrown a grenade and it becomes something else. I never saw us spending our lives living on another continent to our loved ones. Raising my child away from family, but it forces you to pull together and lean on each other. It tests the foundations of marriage.
  2. Your not the same person, your life experiences prior to your relationship are different . Your childhood and traditions are unalike. Navigating and respecting each others ways is part of the journey. Examples of this are should your stocking or Santa sack be at the end of your bed or by the fireplace? Does Santa wrap your gifts or not? Is Easter a time for lamb or ham?
  3. You get the marriage you think you deserve. A wise women once made that statement to me at school, at the time I thought very little of it, but whether speaking of marriage, life or friendships there is a real pearl of truth to it. If you have self respect enough to love yourself and show love to others then you deserve the same in return. Many partners will invest and reciprocate the same levels of love you show them. It is also important to remember you are the example of a healthy loving relationship to those around you, especially children and they learn how to love and give love from your example.
  4. Pick your battles, as you bed down in marital bliss you learn that you don’t have to win every battle to win the war. Either that or I am becoming so long in the tooth I care less. Now Mr L may disagree on this but I have tried in recent years to let things slide. I have made a conscious effort not to become a nag and ride his butt about everything he doesn’t do, (because I am sure there are things I don’t do, very few things but sometimes even perfect people slip up!) I am also trying to calm myself and consider is this issue really worth a disagreement and nine times out of ten it is not unless it is PMT driven.
  5. Marriage requires work, that doesn’t mean big extravagant gifts or hearts and roses (although all great ideas so Mr L if by chance your reading this don’t be put off.) You have to be that person the other requires sometimes and find common ground. It is so easy especially when you have small children to get immersed in routine and little person needs, you forget that you have needs of each other. My grandpa used to say that children flee the nest and you are left with each other so don’t forget that.
  6. Marriage has seasons, there are times when you require more from your partner or the balance changes. Life is fast pace and we all have times where things are not quite as we would want, marriage requires you to support and love your partner unconditionally. The roles could revers one day. Seasons in life and marriage are meant and you have to learn from each one.
  7. Don’t compare you marriage to other. Firstly nobody’s marriage is perfect and they are all different because we are. In the eight years I have been married I have sadly seen lots of marriages dissolve for many reasons but often I see that people compare their marriage to unrealistic expectations or society ideals. What matters is the two of you and how happy you are with each other. What others are doing or speaking about is up to them. I maintain if you were lucky enough like Mr L and I to have grown up with strong examples of marriage, it helps because you have seen the journey of marriage and the ups and downs required for true partnership.
  8. Love Languages. Something I discovered this year and I am using. You answer a series of questions and they inform you about your preferred love language. Mr L and I completed this thinking not a lot of it, we were polar opposites (no surprise.)  My main love language is “acts of service” for Mr L it is “physical touch.” So in a nutshell I feel loved and appreciated by “acts of service”  so for example if Mr L put the trash out, or I came home and the kitchen had been cleaned (your getting the idea) I would be in heaven. For Mr L he feels most loved if I give him a hug or hold his hand on the sofa ( not natural for me.) These are such simple things and I have noticed subconsciously we have been trying to appeal to each others language and although far from perfect I am quite amazed by the result. I was a skeptic but honestly humble pie I may need to eat. Would you like a post on the love languages? I encourage everyone in a relationship to take the quiz. Not only have I been grateful by the effort Mr L has made but it gives me areas at which I need to focus. 

Do you have any pearly words of wisdom or do you prescribe to that mantra the art of a good marriage is two people who don’t want to get divorced at the same time!!!

Happy Anniversary Mr L here is to another year! Love you.

Kx

 

 

My Summer Makeup Refresh

Howdy Y’all,

So we are experiencing record temperatures early this summer in Texas. Last week my car was reading 108oc and we are only in June. This heat combined with my daughter home for the summer means that I have a slightly different lifestyle and therefore requirements of my cosmetics. If you have followed me for a while you will know that I am a fan of reviewing your cosmetics routine at the start of every season, after all you don’t wear the same clothes in winter as you do in summer so why would you do the same with skincare and makeup? As I mature I am noticing that my skin has very different needs in each season and how I respond to this can really change how my skin looks and feels. Whether you are like me and live in unbearable heat or are about to enjoy a summer holiday  I wanted to share with you some of the holly grail products I have found which are quick (who has the time?) sustainable in the heat and do what is required.

Even if you follow my strict policy of wearing sunscreen at all times, your skin tone changes during the summer months. The vast majority of people will drop at least one shade in foundation and concealer. So it is always worth checking, the wrong color can be ageing and nobody got time for that!!!  The need for a full coverage foundation is not necessary in the summer, unless you have blemishes  you have to cover. The summer is time to celebrate our skin tone and its beautiful to see freckles, a light BB or CC is perfect for the vast majority in the summer.

Like the winter, the skins exposure to extreme elements like heat, humidity, sand, salt and air conditioning to name a few really alters your skins texture. Often you will think your skin is greasier as you sweat and perspire (we all glow) but actually more often than not your skin is actually dry and dehydrated (combination skin.) For me my skin can not get enough of hydrating products and I lean much more to cream products in summer. It is only my finishing powder which is a powder product. I think that dewy cream finish is lighter for the summer and gives a more youthful glow (who doesn’t want that?!)

Here is what I am using and loving this summer.

summermakeuo

Supergoop Serum 

  • If you take nothing more from this post than this, sunscreen is the most important thing you can do for your skin, it should be applied everyday rain or shine. I am a strong advocate of a separate/stand alone sunscreen application even if your face product contains SPF.
  • I love Supergoop, it is not heavy or sticky and absorbs into your skin. I find it works well for most sensitive skins.
  • Supergoop only make products for skin protection from the sun which I thinks speaks volumes to the quality.

Clarins SOS Primer

  • This is not essential but it diminishes redness for an even looking skin tone. I find in the sun the red pigment of my skin can come through and this helps.

It Cosmetics CC Cream

  • This is a fantastic CC cream, it gives good coverage and has strong lasting power even when in and out of the pool.
  • It also contains an SPF 50 which combined with a separate sunscreen will provide you a high SPF coverage.

Bobbi Brown Serum Concealer

  • Regardless of season this is a LL love. When exposing your skin to the summer elements the serum inside the concealer gives added moisture to the eye area which is nourishing. It prevents that dried and cakey look that some concealers can.

Bobbi Brown Cream Shadow Stick

  • In the heat I can not be bothered to do elaborate eye makeup. I want to apply something easy which will hold all day and I find these are brilliant.
  • They come in various colors and both matte or shimmer.
  • They don’t require brushes which make them fantastic for travel.

Beauty Counter Volumizing Mascara

  • I spend much of the summer either swimming or sweating. I also live in an area where allergies/pollen are rampant, as a result I find by the end of the day I am wearing most my mascara on my under eyes.
  • I did feel that in the summer months I wanted to find a more natural mascara. I have been trying several items in the Beauty Counter range and I can honestly tell you I have been very impressed with this mascara. It is a little dryer in texture and therefore requires a little more work in application but it lasts well and I have no fall out. It also feels good to think that it does not have any nasties or chemicals near my eyes.

Beauty Counter Color Pinch Cream Blusher

  • I mentioned earlier that during the summer I prefer cream products. I was looking for a cream blush and decided to try Beauty Counter. I have been impressed, highly pigmented, beautiful packaging and has strong longevity.

NYX Wonder Pencil

  • To all mums and tired people everywhere, regardless of season this is a must. Place this along your waterline and you will look like you have had 8+ hours sleep.

Anastasia Tinted Brow Gel

  • Eyebrow grooming is essential. This tints, fills, grooms and lasts all days.

Beauty Counter Sheer Lipstick

  • Great variety of colors and buildable.

Beauty Counter Lip Gloss

  • Great glosses and all natural.

Supergoop 100% mineral setting powder

  • Love this product, it is a finishing powder with SPF. It sets your makeup and prevents shine. The wonderful design with retractable brush means it is easy to carry with you and you whip out reapply and remove any shine or add SPF.
  • It comes in a variety of shades or translucent like I have.

Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment

  • Been bashing on about these for an age, great shade range, so comfortable and nourishing. Plus they contain SPF.

NYX Illuminating Stick

  • These come in a variety of shades and add a slight highlight to your face, plus so affordable.

 

 

Here is the picture of me with the makeup on!

summer makeup)

So any products your loving for summer? Would you like me to do a post of facial sunscreens? The other thing to remember which is almost as important as sunscreen is to double cleanse. Even if your not much of a makeup wearer, you are of course wearing sunscreen and it is important to remove that correctly and get your skin/pores very clean. Another issue for summer skin is bacteria, I find I am more susceptible to breakouts, with all the elements and sweating so a very strict skincare regime with DOUBLE CLEANSING is essential.

Ta Ta for now,

Kx

The Duchess Dress Off

Howdy Y’all,

Today I wanted to share something fun and that is meant in good taste. On Saturday in London was Trooping the Colour, this is a ceremony performed by all regiments of the British and Commonwealth armies to mark the official birthday of the sovereign HRH The Queen. It is a tradition which began in the 17th Century. It was particularly exciting because it was the first time we got to see HRH Duchess of Sussex with the rest of the Royal Family, since her wedding. I was secretly thrilled because it was one of the first times we would see both Duchess’ in their finery as members of the family. I want to preface that I am not going to make a habit of comparing Kate and Meghan, they are both incredibly beautiful (albeit in different ways) smart and stylish and to me that is where all comparisons should end. They are both Duchess’ with very different destinies and I think that will become more evident as time progresses. I did however think it would be fun today to compare their fashion choices. To summarize I think even their fashion choices on Saturday spoke to their destinies. Nobody could take from Meghan how incredibly beautiful she was as a bride, everything about her choice of dress, accessories the way she walked down the aisle spoke to the modern, confident, informed, ethical Duchess she was becoming and her fashion choice on Saturday said much the same. I also want to cut her a little slack, royal life must be so intimidating and she is handling it like a pro. Kate on the other hand is destined to be a Queen, I thought her choice of outfit for the Royal wedding spoke much to her character. Wearing something she had worn before as not to draw attention displays the thoughtful, poised, elegant, educated, and regal woman she is. I thought her outfit on Saturday shone as she stepped out onto the balcony she projected regality.

HRH Duchess of Sussex

Embed from Getty Images
It is difficult to get a full length image of Meghan and this was about the best I can do but it does show us the highlights of the dress/outfit. The dress is by Carolina Herrera and it is effortlessly elegant. The pale pink/nude color compliments Meghan’s skin tone incredibly although the color is very similar to the Goat dress she wore to the Garden Party. I was a little disappointed because I would like to see her in another color. The over jacketor neckline of the dress (not quite sure of the design, )is beautiful. I feel the way her hair is styled sort of spoils the effect and silhouette of the neckline but she looks spectacular. The buttons have a very vintage/80’s vibe as to me does the length of the jacket part. Although I love the design I am not sure is suits Meghan. Like Kate this beautiful woman could make a paper bag look good so I am in no way saying she looks bad. I feel the length of the jacket does her little favors, it sort of flattens her hips and dwarfs her beautiful curves which I think is a shame. She is too petite for that length of jacket. It doesn’t enhance her waist. I also question with the length/lack of sleeve, how appropriate this choice was for the event. I echo again I love the dress but this is a royal event and I fear there might have been a little too much flesh on show so perhaps best that her hair was down. It might have been good to have had a bracelet of something on her wrist with such a short sleeve.

Embed from Getty Images
In contrast to Kate I feel Meghan hits the makeup jackpot each time. I love the natural softness that allow her beauty to shine through. Her soft pink lipstick compliments her outfit color and skin tone perfectly. She has this effortlessness with her makeup and the placement of her contour is amazing. She equally kept her jewelry minimal her decision not to wear a necklace and to allow the outfits neckline to sing was perfect. A slightly bolder earring choice might have been a little more appropriate they are royal after all. I did not feel her hair was appropriate, when wearing a hat ones hair should be back and away from the face, I think Meghan may have regretted it because she was fiddling with it a lot throughout the event. Her Phillip Treacy hat complimented the look but if her hair had been similar to her wedding style, I think the hat would have looked better.

HRH Duchess of Cambridge

Embed from Getty Images
It is difficult to get a full length picture of the Duchess of Cambridge so this will have to work. This is HRH at her finest. The designer for all big events or when HRH wishes to make a statement she turns to her wedding dress designer Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen and Sarah never disappoints. I adore the ice blue colour of this outfit, it compliments the summer day perfectly. It is fresh and eye catching without being loud or bright. The fit and fabric is outstanding. I love the tailored look on Kate it compliments her figure, the modern square neck is softened and made feminine by the puff sleeves and who doesn’t like a bracelet length sleeve? The waist band adds a modern touch and I love how they keep the tailoring simple by having it in the same color and fabric. How is it possible she had a baby only sixish weeks ago????? The nipped waist going into a fuller pleated skirt which adds dimension and balances out her petite shoulders.

Embed from Getty Images

This close up really allows us to see the details of Kate’s hat and jewelry. Her hair is so chic and tidy and allows the beauty of her spectacular hat and the simplicity of the jewelry to shine. This statement hat was spectacular by Milner Juliette Botterill, I always think this style is the most flattering on Kate and what sets is off is the flowers, netting and bow which follow through to the front of the hat. It is millinery masterpiece. Ladies and gentleman this is how one wears their hair when wearing a hat, chic and neat allowing the hat to shine. It is also positioned correctly but still allows us to see the beautiful Duchess. With her hair so neatly off her face you can see her spectacular earrings by Kiki McDonough, they match the outfit color exquisitely and their size is a perfect balance to the hat. They also look regal and are a bolder choice than say wearing a simple stud. Her choice of necklace is also stupendous because the delicacy of it does not fight the neckline and tailoring of the dress. It is also smaller and simpler than the earrings and allows those to be the statement. I love the detail on the chain, it provides balance. This closeup also gives us a chance to look at the Duchess makeup. I will confess I am not the biggest fan on the Duchess’ makeup choices I often find there is little variety to how she does it day/night and I find her eyes a little heavy and dark (sorry Kate!)At this event I thought the makeup complimented her exquisitely, her blush and lip colour were elegant and understated and complimented the ice blue of her outfit. I think the eyemakeup worked also in providing contrast to the hat.

Embed from Getty Images
I added this picture because this bunch generally scrub up very well and I just love the Queen, she certainly stands out on the balcony in her blue. So elegant and poised for a lady of 92.

Whose outfit did you prefer? What are your thoughts on Kate and Meghan? I would love to know.

Have a fab week friends.

Ta Ta for now

Kx